It is interesting how we always strive for success and are motivated by X,Y, or Z. Some of us motivate ourselves and when we can not, we end up in the mud which is a place we do not want to be in but end up in by life circumstance or by our own hand. So the question I had for myself was how do I succeed when I am down and out? how do i overcome the DAAARKNESSSS  IN MEHH MINDDDDD!!! It really is a constant battle and this is the first time I am writing out this thought of .. how did I get here?

I found some motivation in others success, Such as my friends reaching goals or obtaining new positions and excelling wouldstart making my desire go up in wanting to succeed but .. I would get a small burst of energy but then fall back into routine and the same threaded with family etc.. so how do I push my self? how do I succeed? I started with drawing every day… if it sucked or it did not post it and keep drawing.. that worked but then I was drawing with out purpose… why am I doing this , what is the end goal…. THEN…. I found something that I did regularly but its only real purpose was to simply stir up emotion and leave me in awe…. you ready for it .. look down.. yeah in the next paragraph.

I watched youtube videos .. not of tutorials, not of motivational speaker… noooo.. not of cat.. although those are great. I watched auditions for the voice or Americas got talent etc..  i would always get stirred up in the emotion of the strive and I would watch and say .. THATS MEEE.. THAT MEEE… In some way shape or form. These people struggled like some , some didn’t.. some had wonderful student loans, 3 kids and have been just trying to make it and gave up on their dream for a job that got them by.. because dreams dont really pay. It all came down to their attempt and the moment the contestant not only showed many they were able to do this awesome thing but they proved to themselves I can do it. Then it showed those who supported them and  the happiness that followed.

Lets take it up from there though, I saw myself in these people but my desire was not to be one of those people. My desire was to be the one that gave them the chance, the chance that is so hard to give because of the day to day requirements of just living. I tend to work and strive more when my goal is beyond me and that where I found the “IT” noooo not the clown .. I dont want to float. “IT” is the thing that re lite my beacon , it signaled to the world HEY…. IM GOING TO FAIL… A LOT .. BUT IN THAT FAILURE I AM GOING TO SUCCEED IN THIS THING. Whats the thing? the thing is to do my art, collaborate with more artists and writers creative minds to build a foundation of a company I had one dreamed up with a friend of mine. The goal… to change peoples lives with art in some way shape or form… like really good movie, or tv show that makes you feel something when you watch it, inspires you and allows you to follow a passion.

Like me and the awesome TMNT.. One day ill aid in the creation of something that influences a generation to be inspired in some small way.